Miles to Go Before I Sleep
by Jarakrisafis
Summary: Four people reflect on death and something they didn't expect.
1. They Will Not See Me

**They Will Not See Me**

I do not think they realise what they are doing, putting a weapon in the hands of a child.

I was wild, excitable, adventurous. Magic was compelling, Irresistible. Not surprising then that I did not stop to think of the consequences.

"It will be fun," I had said, sure of myself, of creating something lasting, eternal.

Would I still have said that if I knew what we were trying to create?

I think not.

There are times I am glad we went through with it. But for every joy there is much more sorrow.

And all I can do is watch.

Unseen.

Unheard.

Unknown.

I've seen the world pass by.

I am the watcher in the shadows.

But I cannot say anything, cannot interfere, a spirit without substance, less than a ghost, yet unable to pass on.

I wish. I wish for many things but the one I want most will not happen.

I want to go home.

I want to be free.

But I cannot tell them this; they who hold my life, such as it is, in their hands.

"It is a gift, a wonderful artefact," they say.

No. My mind whispers in response. It is a curse. Destroy it.

But they do not hear me. They cannot know what they hold in their hands. For like I, they are but children. Innocent. Naïve.

I am no longer a child. I have not been for many long years. I am weary of the world, yet cursed to remain by my own hand.

But perhaps my biggest regret is that I brought this curse upon those who were my friends.


	2. I Have Promises to Keep

**I Have Promises to Keep**

Death.

Not sure what I expected really.

Big glowing neon sign?

'Welcome to the Afterlife, please keep to the paths and don't rearrange the roses'.

Would have been better than this drifting.

In fact I'm pretty sure that when one crosses over, the body is said to be left behind while the spirit goes on to the great beyond.

I think I missed that howler.

Because I'm pretty sure I'm still here. Here referring to the place I was before I was rather inconveniently killed.

Distinct lack of green fields and gambolling unicorns.

Nope. Still in London. But a London I can't touch.

Oh it was fun for the first few hours, reading over people's shoulders, inserting comments at inappropriate times.

Gets old real quick when you get no response.

So it's back to flitting around, drifting from place to place.

I think I'm looking for something.

But I'm not sure, could just be going crazy. Well, crazier.

It feels like a tugging, an urge to do, to go, I don't know.

Perhaps it will become clearer.

Perhaps it won't.

Perhaps I'm not simply going crazy.

Maybe I've finally snapped.

This might not be real.

Who am I to judge?

Everything seems slightly insane to me.


	3. Is There Some Mistake?

**Is There Some Mistake?**

Well. This is interesting. Not what I expected at all.

But then I'm not sure what I was expecting.

Sunshine and daises under a bright sky with fluffy clouds and a huge crowd of loved ones waiting to greet me?

Not this isolation. I think something went wrong. A curse perhaps? The battle had been rather vicious; I could have been hit with anything.

But it is hard to know. I can drift through the bookshops, but what use when ones hand passes through the shelves. I can see the titles of the things I wish to read, to study, but I cannot grasp them. It is... frustrating.

I waited a while, hoping somebody would open the ones I wanted, but they are obscure tomes, rarely do people venture into these darkened corners of the shops.

But there is one bright light in my situation.

I sat outside last night and watched the sky.

Watched the clouds pass across the stars, occasionally drawing back to let my Mistress shine forth.

I felt a stirring somewhere inside, but it was buried, indistinct. The moon shone and I remembered her glow come morning.

I can't remember the last time I did that.


	4. The Darkest Evening

**The Darkest Evening**

Freedom.

I like it.

Just me.

Alone.

I don't have to hide.

Don't have to scurry from shadow to shadow.

No need to keep looking over my shoulder.

For everybody.

And Anybody.

All out to get me.

I can drift amongst a crowd now.

Unseen.

Watched a child with his mother yesterday. Wondered if I was ever like that. They didn't see me. Oblivious they were. Ha. They would have been pointing and running before.

Not often you see dead people I suppose.

Strange this.

Dead.

And yet.

I'm not.

I'm drifting.

Unable to pass on.

Chained to the world.

I would be surprised.

I think.

Except I've seen this before.

This half life.

How strange that I managed what He could not.

Immortality.

__________________________________________________________________

There are 2 examples of wizards leaving parts of themselves behind, paintings and horcruxes. The paintings appear to be merely an echo of the wizard, while the horcrux has an ability to learn and to disseminate. This left me with a question, just what is the Marauders map?


End file.
